This morning, I sat with my 17-year old daughter and listened to her lament over how imperfect her nose is, how her teeth are not straight and how the reflection in the mirror does not fill her with joy. I listened with a heavy, sad heart and wished that in that moment I was able to vicariously plant into her my 53 years of wisdom to help her understand that life is so much more than the external.
So instead, I shared a recipe. For a cake.
I told her this cake is no ordinary cake. It only has 4 ingredients and a very special way of making it.
This is the point that her eye rolling started and the “Mummy, I hate it when you talk like this, stop it, it’s silly” was said.
I said, “bare with me, humour me”.
I told her that these ingredients must be the best quality that she can find and not to skimp in any way.
Ingredients
1 Cup of Acceptance
Accept everything, just as it is. This is who you were born to be and to trust in the universe, it really is working for you.
1 Cup of Kindness
This is especially true when it comes to you. Listen to the way you talk to yourself and the things you allow in. Take note because many times the dialogue with ourselves is bordering on cruel.
2 Good Scoops of Authenticity
Remember what is real is. It is not the likes on social media. It is not a fake photo. It is not an awkward pose to look more attractive. It is not the hundreds of ‘friends’ on Facebook. Stay true and grounded in the gift of who you are and what really matters in life. Keep it real.
2 Cups of Self-Love
Love yourself – fully. Love the colourful rainbow that you are – even the bad bits. If you don’t love all of you, you will always feel that something is missing. The whole is greater than the sum of it parts according to Gestalt – I think he was onto something!
Be a good human being, a warm hearted, affectionate person.
Dalai Lama
Method
She asked, “so when I’ve got all these ingredients – then what?”. Ah, I said, that’s the best bit.
When combining these wonderful ingredients, take good care to use only the finest tools to help create the most deliciously creamy and smooth cake batter. Be sure not to knock out any of the air you worked so hard to create.
I equate this to living in the moment. Be conscious of the mixing, pour your heart into this because, as its name suggests, the present is a gift. Bring some awareness to the consistency of the batter, the smell of the ingredients, the colour and the action of mixing it. Be there in the moment in all its magical glory.
And don’t forget to enjoy it along the way.
Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
Dr Seuss
Baking Time
After working so hard to choose the best ingredients and combine them to perfection, this step is where it becomes one. To bake your cake to perfection, keep a watchful eye over it at all times because every oven has a different cook speed and temperature regulation.
Your oven is the environment you live in, the one that you create for yourself.
Carefully select the friends around you, take care of your family, school, work and do your best in each. Take care of yourself – sleep well, eat well, exercise and rest. And be careful what you feed your mind.
Accept no one’s definition of your life – define yourself.
Unknown
The Final Masterpiece
But how long will the cake take to make mummy? Finally, she was with me.
Who knows I told her.
The secret is not to rush it. A masterpiece should be nurtured to life not hurried.
The great thing is that everyone’s cake in the end is a masterpiece. With this recipe, nothing can go wrong. And no two cakes are the same. How wonderful!
And the best part is, that you can start over at any time you wish should your cake not be turning out how you want it to. Tweak the ingredients a little here and there, even double up on the quantities if you feel the need and voila – your cake is perfectly enough all over again.
You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.
C.S. Lewis
To Cherry or Not to Cherry?
Don’t settle for anything less than your own perfectly, fabulous, unique cake. This is the least you deserve.
Enjoy the process of creating and recreating it.
The truth is, your cake is in and of itself already a masterpiece. Anything else really is just the cherry on the top.
Love yourself first and foremost, because that is who you are going to spend the rest of life with.
Unknown
#eatcake #lifecake
