No, this is not the name of a new movie or West End play in London, this is in fact, a very real phenomena that can negatively affect a woman’s quality of life when she hits her fifties. Sadly, Western culture holds a common perception that aging is something negative and older people are a burden, at best, they aren’t cool, hip or valuable. Granted, there are religions and cultures that embrace aging, but they are few.
Invisibility makes you feel like you are not important, that you don’t count, your opinion doesn’t matter because you are not a vital part of the way things go anymore because suddenly, you are being judged on what you can offer as opposed to who you really are. Shame can rear its ugly head and tell you that you are not enough, or that you are no longer valuable.
There are many reasons why people can feel invisible in their fifties but, if left unchecked, feeling invisible can begin to define you and that can have serious consequences such as depression or social isolation.
Change Your Mindset
Times are changing that is for sure but it is a slow, long slog and may take many more centuries until aging is something we embrace rather than shun.
The real invisible man once said, “When I discover who I am, I’ll be free”, and I think that we can learn from this because honestly, life is too short to feel invisible.
Aging gracefully is a gift. Your fifties bring something that youth doesn’t allow. A knowing. An authenticity. A fire in your belly that knows life is there to be lived fully. I say dig deep, and look invisibility square in the face and say, not today thank you.
So, what are you waiting for?
Top Tips To Overcome Feeling Invisible
If you are feeling you’re fading into an invisible cloak of darkness, take note ladies. Every single day has the potential for starting over, a whole new chapter and a whole new you. You don’t have to accept anything that does not make you feel ten foot tall and bulletproof.
Here are my top tips for overcoming feeling invisible and finding your voice.
- Accept it like you chose it. There is nothing that you can do about aging, it is an inevitable part of being human. Suffering happens when we don’t accept something exactly the way it is. When we truly accept, a frustrated negative energy turns to a peaceful understanding allowing a creative, healthy space to be able to reinvent yourself.
- Step outside your comfort zone. Adopt an attitude that tells the world you are still here. How? Try new things. I get that this is a big ask and may involve some moments of discomfort, but know that they will pass. Just take a look at all those Instagram oldies that are rocking their new found fame – you don’t think they felt crazy scared the first time they published a photo. Feel the fear and do it anyway!
- Stay connected. Push yourself and go out. Accept that dinner invite even though all you really want to do is stay home and slouch in your pj’s. Friends and being social will stop you falling through the cracks and be the difference you need in staying visible. Even staying connected virtually, is better than nothing so don’t be afraid of the many social media options out there. You’ll soon realise that you are not alone.
- Look for what you can control. Start by making a list of all the things you can control. These are endless but can include things like how many times you smile, thinking negative or positive thoughts, how much effort you put in, what exercise you get, what books you read, what food goes in your mouth, whether you stay in a relationship or not….. The point is, you have far more control that you think.
- Embrace the positive side. Oftentimes in our life, we have wanted to do something that we just didn’t have the courage to do. So ladies, now is the time! Being invisible allows a temporary ‘hiding in the wings’ so you can try out all those things you wanted to but never dared. Go for those drum lessons, do that skydive or start your own blog – whatever resonates for you.
Ditch the Cloak of Invisibility
Youth offered you supple skin, no cellulite, bounds of energy and a certain naivety.
Midlife brings wisdom, authenticity, confidence and an awareness of just how precious life is – a ‘knowing’ that alludes your youthful years. But here’s the irony – you can’t have both.
If you were asked to pick just one, which one would you pick?
That of course is up to you but, for me, I’m choosing my current cognitive state of mind, strong sense of self, jelly belly and bat wings – without a shadow of a doubt! Invisible, me? Not a chance.
