Perimenopausal rage is very real and is just one of the many challenges women face as they head on into menopause. If left ignored and untreated, it can wreak havoc on your life.
Perimenopause and Anger
Perimenopause begins before menopause. The average age of menopause is 51 albeit most women start experiencing symptoms associated with perimenopause years earlier, generally around the mid to late forties. Perimenopausal symptoms can last anywhere from 5 to 10 years. Once a full year has passed without having a menstrual cycle, you’ve reached full menopause.
Whilst for some women, it’s plain sailing, for many others it is a journey towards a place of challenge as they experience anger, irritability, intolerance and low moods that can seriously damage their quality of life.
This shift is caused by waning Estrogen levels during perimenopause which start to decline gradually over time leading to hormonal imbalance in the body. This imbalance results in the challenging symptoms associated with menopause one of which is anger and rage.
Continue on to discover how to identify anger and rage driven by perimenopause, why it occurs and the most important, how to manage it.
How To Identify Perimenopausal Anger
You may experience perimenopause-driven rage significantly different from your regular bouts of frustration, or anger. The shift from feeling balanced to intensely angry, resentful or irritated may only be a matter of seconds. The switch is super fast. People around you may notice that you have less patience than normal and let you know about it.
Research has shown that you may be more at risk of experiencing excessive swings in mood and bouts of rage if you have suffered with challenging PMS (premenstrual syndrome) in the past.
Is all of this sounding familiar to you?
If you have a niggle that hormonal imbalance could be to blame for your anger, but not 100% sure, check in with yourself for other symptoms associated with perimenopause that could help better understand what is happening.
Other typical symptoms of perimenopause to watch out for:
- Irregular periods
- Sleep difficulties
- Lack of energy
- Libido decline
- Heart palpitations
- Brain fog
- Digestive changes
- Mood swings
- Thinning hair
If some or all of these apply to you, you are very likely to be experiencing perimenopause. Make creating a self-care plan a priority so that you can begin to address and resolve these challenging symptoms before they spiral out of control. Catching this early is key to helping you overcome perimenopausal rage.
Why Does Perimenopausal Rage Occur?
The chemicals in your brain hold the answer to why rage and anger happens during perimenopause. Hold onto the fact that you are not going mad and know that things will improve, you won’t feel this way forever.
The female hormone Estrogen is associated with generating Serotonin, which is a mood regulator and booster. The journey through peri and menopause means that your body produces less Estrogen, and as such, you don’t feel balanced and your emotions are all over the place.
A tell-tale sign that your anger is associated with perimenopause is that it may come and go. It may be more obvious for a week or two, then relent for the next month or so. This is due to the fact that Estrogen levels ebb and flow as they decline over time and with each period of decline, the happy hormones will be affected.
Eventually when your hormones stabilise, and your body adjusts to the decrease in Estrogen, you will feel much better and more like your usual self.
In the meantime, there are things that you can do to help find some relief from perimenopausal rage.
Top Tips For Finding Relief For Perimenopausal Rage
Accepting the reality of your situation is essential to begin the process of finding some relief from the anger and rage caused by perimenopause. Acceptance will empower you to feel more in control to implement practices and lifestyle changes necessary in order to address the symptoms. Here are a few changes you can make.
1. Bring Some Kindness to Your Rage
At first, many women feel confusion about what is happening to them and many want to hide the anger so as not to cause themselves embarrassment or negatively affect relationships with others.
However, ‘self-silencing’ is never a good option as suppressing and not expressing your true feelings can lead to depression. Instead, accept what is taking place in your body and communicate with your loved ones or significant people around you about what is going on. Sharing can help you feel more supported and able to be more open and honest which will offer some respite and relief.
2. Meditate
See this new age therapy as a life saver when it comes to perimenopausal rage and anger (or in fact, any anger not even associated with hormonal imbalance). Evidence shows that meditation for perimenopausal women promotes better sleep patterns, a reduction in hot flashes and helps reduce feelings of anger.
There are a plethora of options on Youtube, just take your pick as well as many apps, such as Calm and Headspace, that offer great options for guided mediations.
3. Up Your Self-Care Practices
Self-care has probably slipped down your list of priorities after years of putting everyone and everything else first. But self-care is not some luxury saved for a few, but an essential element of surviving midlife and menopause. Take time daily to do something that resonates with you in making you feel good about yourself. Whether you go for a walk, sit down with your favourite beverage, create some artwork or have an aromatherapy oil filled bath….take some time to turn the focus on you so that you feel appreciated.
Download our free 5-Step Guide for top tips, advice and best practices to promote a healthier happier you!
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4. Identify Your Triggers
If you know what exacerbates your perimenopausal rage, you can consider what changes are necessary in order to reduce the occurrence of it. Diet, sleep, alcohol and smoking can all play a significant role in making things worse when it comes to anxiety and depression which can trigger anger.
The lows of alcohol can fuel depressive symptoms; not eating a nutritionally balanced diet can leave the body depleted and ’hangry’; not drinking enough water can lead to dehydration causing headaches, lethargy, and constipation; and poor sleep hygiene increases the chance that you will experience mood swings as well as increase hot flushes.
It’s a great idea to keep a journal or use a mood tracking app to ascertain any patterns that may apply to you. Check in with sleep times, things you ate, how much water you drank or the level of exercise you did and record it. The information gleaned from such an exercise will provide the data to help pinpoint those areas in which you can improve.
5. Count to Five
Bringing mindfulness to the heat of the moment by counting to five can provide a safety net where you are less likely to react from a place of emotion such as anger, which isn’t helpful. Mindfulness in general has been positively associated with reducing menopausal symptoms according to a study published in The Journal of the International Menopause Society.
The space that counting to five offers could provide an excellent tool to help ground you and centre back into yourself. This way you can understand exactly where the rage and emotions are coming. Dig underneath the anger and ask yourself “does this situation deserve the level of anger I am directing at it” or “would I normally react this way if I wasn’t perimenopausal”?
Bringing awareness and understanding that right now you are more prone to react differently, and without any judgement bring some softness to yourself without shooting the second arrow and feeling guilt or shame about how you reacted. And the next time it arises, you will be better able to deal with the heightened emotion of rage and respond in a more positive and helpful manner.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”. Victor Frankel
6. Find an Outlet
Anger is a strong energy so channelling it into something is a great way of neutralising rage and balancing mood swings.
Exercise is a brilliant way to work through anger. This is a tough one because the last thing you want to do is head out for a run when you are feeling angry or emotionally exhausted, however, this is when you most need it. Exercise can also help you shift unwanted weight due to a slower metabolism midlife as well as boost moods due to serotonin release during working outs. Walking, running, or any cardio workout is a great option to stop anger in its tracks.
Other creative ways in which you can channel your anger include baking, painting, gardening, writing, dancing, sculpting, jewellery making and more. Just by finding that small corner of quiet space can help you work through the emotions and get a little perspective for yourself.
7. Talk To Your Doctor
You aren’t the first and won’t be the last woman to suffer with perimenopausal rage, anger and anxiety. Your doctor is a great place to start unravelling this and finding solutions. If you feel things are spiralling out of control and your perimenopausal rage is impacting your day-to-day function or negatively affecting your job, it is probably time to speak to your doctor because they have seen it all before and can offer some good advice.
And the truth is, there are options out there to help.
Options include HRT, birth control pills and antidepressants all of which can be taken temporarily to help you over the worst, helping you feel more balanced and stable.
Your doctor can walk you through your options and help you find something that suits your individual needs by developing a care plan designed especially for you.
Bottom line is that even though you may think that it isn’t ‘normal’ to feel constantly angry or depressed during perimenopause, menopause takes you to many places that are ‘not normal’. Try not to label it, shame it or judge it but instead accept and deal with it in the best way that you can and be proud of how you are facing up to a tough time.
8. Connect With Others
A trouble shared is a trouble halved. Reach out to menopause support groups to share and be inspired by other women who are experiencing similar symptoms. Women are great at sharing and giving tips about how they overcame the challenges of symptoms associated with menopause. Listening and sharing with others will help you not feel alone in dealing with your symptoms and who knows, you could discover the magic elixir or trick that is just what you need to feel more balanced and calm in overcoming perimenopausal rage.
9. Try Therapy
Counselling, CBT and anger management are therapies that can help you manage your anger and mood changes during menopause. Try and find a counsellor that specializes in perimenopausal rage and begin adopting some of the advice they will give you to see if it helps. Such professionals have a wealth of knowledge and know exactly how best to support you to help overcome feelings of overwhelm, anger and rage.
10. Alternative Therapies
There are many natural alternative therapies that can provide relief for anger during perimenopause which are a great option as they can be used long term without any nasty side effects. Some of the most common include:
- Acupuncture
- Aromatherapy
- Bach Flower Remedies
- Nutritional Health Supplements
- Pressure Point Massage e.g. Shiatsu
Seek out a qualified specialist in whichever area of alternative medicine resonates with you and try it.
Perimenopausal Rage: The Take Home
Whatever you do about perimenopausal rage, don’t suffer in silence. There are many things that you can do to help you feel back in control and proactive in addressing and eliminating the suffering caused by excessive anger.
Always remember, anger is just an emotion, it ebbs and flows like the waves on the ocean. Emotions usually last for 90 seconds….so hold on, breathe into it, dig under it and do what you can to help it pass….until the next wave arises. And remember, it is something that is happening to you, it does not define you and it is not you. Be kind to yourself on this.
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